 His legacy |
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Our Son Our Brother Our Friend
It is so hard to know just where to begin about your child when their life on earth ended before the lives of the parents. So I guess I will start from the beginning. Adam was born April 7, 1982, 9 lbs. 4 oz. and 22 inches long at 8:03 a.m. It was a Wednesday morning. Adam was a very happy baby and was so loved by his older brother Dustin. Dustin was so proud to be an older brother, not to say there were not times when the two of them didn’t get into arguments over toys and the usual childhood things. Two years later Adam would become the older brother to his new brother, Ian. All in all the three boys played well together and for the most part were friends.
Adam went to Nursery School, first Rocking Horse Nursery School then later to Country Woods Nursery school. After Nursery School Adam attended Hayes Leonard Elementary School, then Ben Franklin Middle School and on to Valparaiso High School. Unfortunately Adam was unable to finish high school which would have been in 2001. On August 15, 1999 Adam had joined some friends at a church parking lot to skateboard for the afternoon. The Pastor of this particular church was very generous with the kids in allowing them to use the parking lot for this particular activity. While there Adam jumped on the hood of a car, which arrived while they were skating and this person decided to start driving with Adam on the hood. The driver started swerving the car back and forth and Adam lost his grip, falling to the ground hitting his head on the pavement. Adam’s friends were very responsible in the way they responded by not moving Adam and calling 911. The ambulance arrived within minutes and that’s when we got the call that one of our sons had been in an accident and had been taken to the local hospital. Adam was unresponsive and doing the posturing reflex. When we arrived at the hospital we were escorted to “the room”. I knew what that room meant and I didn’t want to go inside. We were told that it didn’t look good for Adam and the Neurosurgeon was on his way to the hospital. We were allowed to see Adam at this point and he looked like he was just sleeping. We couldn’t believe that Adam could not wake up. “Please Adam wake up!” Adam went into surgery where it was determined that Adam suffered severe trauma to his brain and would probably not regain consciousness. I won’t go into all the details of our encounter and constant battle with the Neurosurgeon but let’s just say I have never come that close to punching anybody in my entire life. On August 17, 1999 we were told that Adam had no brainwave activity and was being kept alive by the ventilator. Our decision at that point was actually Adam’s decision when he got his driver’s license at the tender age of 16, to become an organ donor. We honored Adam’s wishes. We told the roomful of waiting teenagers, Adam’s friends, that Adam was gone. The staff at the hospital allowed Adam’s friends to each go in to say “good-bye”. The pain in their eyes and Adam’s brother’s eyes cut me to the core. I wasn’t sure I would have the strength to carry on but it was with those same friends and our sons that I found the strength that was needed.
It was about 4:00 a.m. that the team from the Organ Procurement completed the task of harvesting Adam’s organs. We were taken to Adam after the procedure and allowed to stay as long as needed. A wonderful nurse walked us to our vehicle and as we approached the car, I noticed a Praying Mantis on the hood. I couldn’t bear the thought of that Praying Mantis falling off like Adam did so Joe gently moved it to the grass. The nurse told us it was a sign from Adam and I know she is right. It is not common to see a Praying Mantis in the middle of town and to have it on the hood of your car seemed like more than just a coincidence. That same nurse came to Adam’s wake and I wish I knew her name.
Adam’s funeral was held at our church as the funeral home didn’t think they could accommodate the number of people they expected to pay their respects. They were right. We were so overwhelmed by the number of people that came not only to Adam’s wake but to the funeral. A funeral was planned with our minister and from that day on when a funeral is held in our church it is patterned after Adam’s.
Adam was such a loving person. He would find injured animals and bring them home for me to fix. Adam had two passions in his life. One skateboarding and the other drawing. He had displayed an interest in working for Walt Disney World as an artist and I believe he would have made it. Adam was constantly drawing pictures of superheroes and was very talented. Dustin and Adam were just getting to a point in their lives where they wanted to hangout together as Dustin also enjoyed skateboarding. Ian was into in-line skates at the time but after Adam’s accident he put the skates away and got a skateboard.
I love to hear stories about Adam from his brothers and his friends. We were told that when Adam told someone that he would pick them up, he would, but he was usually late so they put a name to this calling it “pulling a Widup”. Adam was also one to pull practical jokes. At school the students were asked what could be done to improve the school lunches. Boy that was a mistake. The kids were in teams and Adam’s team decided that the pizza could be improved by applying donkey testicles (they didn’t call them testicles) as a topping. Adam was voted to turn in the paper, unsigned of course but when Adam turned the paper in; he turned and ran away from the desk so fast that this brought attention to him. We got a call from school about the incident and Adam had to stay after. We actually thought it was kind of funny and I put my wheels in motion. I worked for an animal clinic at the time so the next time the veterinarian went on a farm call to castrate a donkey, guess what he brought back for me? Yes you are right. I made one of those little single serve pizzas and when it was finished baking, I put the last topping on and called Adam in for HIS pizza. I never saw his eyes get that big before.
Adam had just gotten a job working as a porter for a car dealership working with his older brother Dustin. It was the perfect job for Adam. When he got his first paycheck he bought a new pair of skate shoes and he started a savings account. We were very proud of Adam.
Adam drove a red Plymouth Neon that he and I talked his dad into buying. Adam was supposed to contribute to the payments when he got a job but we never pressed that issue. But one funny story about Adam and cars was the time that Joe and I had gone away for the weekend leaving Dustin and Adam home. That may have been a mistake but in hind-sight I’m glad we did. I’m sure they had a few people over but the house was still standing and we had no reports of the police visiting our home. Anyway, Adam had gone out to a restaurant to get something to eat and while exiting onto the highway, sideswiped a car, a yellow Ford Mustang. No one was injured, thank goodness, so a report was made by the police and sent the drivers on their way. No significant damage was done to either car. After we had returned home and several days had passed, Joe had to get into the glove compartment of the Neon to get something out and he ran across a SR21 form. This is a form that needs to be filled out and sent downstate when an accident happens and if you fail to do so, the owner of the vehicle is in big trouble. When Adam saw his dad getting something out of the car and saw us looking at the front of the car where there was some yellow paint transfer from the Mustang, he came running out of the house stating “oh yes, I was going to tell you about this.” He had told his brothers but they were not about to tell us, after all no one was hurt and the car only had a little yellow paint on it. We laugh about this and so many other things now but of course at the time that was a different story. I would give anything to have those times back.
Adam had a way of sticking out his lower lip when I told him no that would usually turn my answer into yes. It was just a look, he wasn’t really pouting and he only did it when it was not a serious matter. He was also a large sports fan. I would have to say that football and baseball were his favorites and he collected cards from all sports. If you needed a question answered about a particular player, Adam usually had the answer.
Adam was a true friend to many and his friends returned that favor to him. We cherish the wonderful memories of Adam and welcome his friends at any time into our home. Many of them have kept in touch with us and we are so grateful.
Every holiday was Adam’s favorite and everyday Adam made our world a better place.
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